Tag Archives: Wanting to go home

Dementia: Practising Patience and Acceptance

Image result for practising patience and acceptance buddhist picture

When I returned home from my Buddhist Meditation Class last night Maureen gave me short shrift.  If looks could kill I would not be Blogging this morning.  How fortunate that Neil had been teaching on the delusion of anger and the importance of patience: he couldn’t have chosen a more relevant topic!

There is no point in getting angry that dementia is a constant in our lives: nothing good ever comes from such a delusion.  The Buddhist message from last night is to accept what comes your way as karmic seeds ripening and then decide if there is anything you can do about it. I eventually decided that there was little I could do about Maureen’s focus last night: nothing seemed to shift her from my shortcomings.  In the end, I made sure she was safe, went to bed and left her to rant.

This morning Maureen has been obsessed with looking for her friend to accompany her to the cinema.  It took ages to shift her reality with music once again opening the door to a change in focus.  Once I called up one or two of her favourites on YouTube her presentation temporarily became a little more favourable.  Unfortunately, she is currently struggling to know who I am and wants to go home.

Girl Thursday will be here in a couple of hours and that will give me a chance to progress some things I can do something about. I need to urgently sort out my next Respite Break: patience is not easily accessible when you are worn out!

Footnote: As much as we loved having a baby in the house yesterday we have decided we don’t want any more additions to our family.  As I’m 72 tomorrow we have decided it is sensible to call it a day on that front!

Dementia: Sing A Song

Maureen has been in great voice this morning, singing this one:

It was lovely to see the joy on her face as she remembered the words of the Carpenters songs when I called their music up on YouTube.  Music is so important in our lives.  How reassuring it must be to be able to sing along to your old favourites; being able to remember the words when you feel that your memory about most things is so poor.

I have a surprise in store for Maureen this afternoon.  A carer who is on maternity leave is calling around with her little one. It will be interesting to see how Maureen reacts to seeing someone who was here almost daily for a couple of years. My guess is she will have that baby in her arms within minutes of her being in the house!

The Carpenters were a welcome relief from a familiar song.  If I followed Maureen’s theme of an hour ago it would be with the Beach Boys  ‘I Want To Go Home’: she doesn’t sing that one she howls it in floods of tears.  I’ve tried to shift her thinking by singing ‘I Like A Nice Cup of Tea In The Morning’ and delivering her morning tipple.  If things go well this afternoon I might add ‘Baby Come Back’ to my repertoire!