Dementia: The Tipping Point

I’m sure some readers of this Blog wonder what led me to change my mind about Care Homes and the Konar Suite?  Why had someone who hardly has a good word to say about Care Homes and was unconvinced about the Konar Suite changed his mind?

When I look back there were three main reasons.  Firstly, professional staff who I have a great deal of respect for continued to ask me to review my thinking.  Secondly,  when Maureen told me ‘she didn’t know where or who she was and had no idea what was going on’.  Thirdly, when she handed me this crumpled photograph and told me it was a bill:

As you can see I’ve straightened it out now: hence the distortions.  I wasn’t upset that it was one of our wedding photos.  What concerned me was that I had stood it on our mantelpiece on our Wedding Anniversary to try to remind Maureen that we were married.  I had played Wedding Day by the BeeGees every morning and told her how proud I was that she was my wife.  I had told her how much I loved her as the Brothers Gibb had sung this beautiful song.  I had put my hand next to hers as the music played so our wedding rings were touching.  Although she may have grasped what I was talking about at that time, this photograph became a bill: that was the Tipping Point

The news from AlderleaCare Home is that Maureen thinks she is in ‘Marks and Sparks’ trying to find the train station.  She is sleeping on a sofa just like she does at home and was still in the land of nod when I checked up on her early this morning.  I’m off to the Leisure Centre again shortly; to swim and then revitalise in the Health Suite.

5 thoughts on “Dementia: The Tipping Point

  1. Tough times and sad to hear about Maureen’s memory issues worsening. Its important now that you look after yourself and get some support by talking to peolle who know what you are going through. You should try and reclaim your socila life if you can.


  2. I hope that you and Maureen both have a time of rest an rejuvenation. These types of decisions are never easy. But, I know one thing for sure Paul Collins. I know that you have her best interests at heart and are motivated by love. No matter what the outcome of her care home stay- you are motivated by love. Anyone who reads your blog knows that. And I do believe that she loves you too; even if she is not always able to express it or forgets that you are her husband. And by the way your wedding photograph was beautiful, even with a few wrinkles. Handsome couple, then and now. Thank you for sharing this journey with all of us; I am a dementia care nurse and I learn so much from the journey that you and Maureen are on. Sending you prayers and support for Boulder, Colorado.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Many thanks Rebecca for the sincerity of your support. I hope that one day we will meet all those people who are helping us on this journey. That will need to be some person-centered cruise!


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