Dementia: ‘Feelings Matter Most’


When Maureen told me she was constipated yesterday she said ‘the Lady at the chemist will know what to do’.  Such responses from my dear wife confirm that she can still remember some things.  What she will never forget is how she is treated: as David Sheard says ‘feelings matter most with dementia’.  Whenever we call in at our Local Branch of Lloyds she is treated with dignity and respect by all members of staff.  As we were leaving the pharmacy yesterday Maureen to me ‘how much she liked the lady, and how helpful she always was’.

The other person who Maureen never forgets is our Key Worker.  She never remembers his name: he is currently Mr Fisher.  However, as soon as she sees him her faces lights up as she knows he will always treat her with compassion, dignity, and respect.

It is possible when Girl Friday is here today Maureen will forget who she is.  She might even ask her if she has had the baby.  She could even be hostile towards her seeing her as ‘the other woman’ – it wouldn’t be the first time.  However, none of this will be phase Girl Friday.  She knows exactly when to keep her distance: she would never have woken up with a shiner this morning!


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