Dementia: No Pain No Gain

Posted at 5.30 am – a further post is likely later.

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There is little doubt that living on a Building Site is continuing to distress Maureen.  She made that clear when I eventually got her home yesterday by asking me ‘when is that man was going to come back to clear up his mess’.  She also told me that she ‘was only staying here because no-one else wanted her’.  There is little I can do about either of these situations: workmen need to be here for another four weeks and her nearest and dearest are conspicuous by their absence even on Bank Holidays!

My judgment about avoiding Care Homes at the moment has been confirmed by two conversations I’ve had over the weekend.  On Saturday we were chatting to a mother of a carer who works at a local Care Home and she said her daughter had told her that none of her workmates would ever encourage a loved one to take up residence in such places.

Yesterday a kind lady, who was very supportive to Maureen, gave an insiders perspective on Ashgrove Care Home.  She told me that there had been an exodus of long serving staff who had been replaced by employees who were untrained and spoke little English.  This is the Care Home that lost Maureen on one occasion and was unaware that she had gone missing until the Police telephoned.  On another occasion, I went to visit Maureen and found her trapped in an unlit room in an unsupervised area of the Home.

There has been lots of pain from builders being on site for the last two months.  It is one of those occasions when there is no gain without pain. The addition of a Sun Room along with a Shower Room will provide all sorts of options for the future.  It can even become a place where family members can stay overnight to give Maureen the company that she so desperately craves.

I’ve just remembered I have forgotten to let you know how I managed to get Maureen back here.  After I trailed her in the car on the advice of the HTT she suddenly waved me down so I opened the car and she got in.  I drove towards Cleethorpes and as I was passing McDonald’s I mentioned I fancied a chocolate milk shake and she said she wanted an ice cream.  A Raspberry McFlurry did the trick with Maureen changing her reality and ‘we had a nice day’.  I mentioned Maureen’s transformation to the Manager and she was so pleased that they had been able to help that she popped out to the car to meet a very satisfied customer!


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