Dementia: It Has To Be Gentle Persuasion

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The Best Interest Meeting to discuss Maureen’s future care and accommodation is now hours way.  It is an opportunity for family members to get together with the Multi-Disciplinary Team to discuss the best way forward.

This morning Maureen has returned her theme that she doesn’t live here.  Yesterday morning she was talking about going back to Nottingham to live with her sister.  During the afternoon she was telling her aunt that she would like to go back to Coventry where she has lots of friends.

I am never clear who Maureen thinks I am.  On occasions I’m her husband, at other times I am her dad, grandad, ex-husband, or manager of this Care Home.

Maureen no longer knows what time, day or season it is.  She has been worrying this morning that she has no clothes that will be warm enough for this time of year.  Whenever she wakes up from sleeping it is time for breakfast, even after a late evening nap.

This morning’s meeting is an opportunity for all parties to put their cards on the table and for the Decision Maker to determine Maureen’s future care and accommodation.  I’m pretty tired at the moment and my immediate priority is to get a break from my caring responsibilities.  Holmfield House is primed to receive Maureen this afternoon and subject to assessment could accommodate her for a week.  However, I do not think it is in our Best Interests for me to trick her into a week in a Care Home: I’m quite clear about that!  What I still have a nagging doubt about is whether a holiday in an Adult Only Hotel would be a better option for sustaining our close relationship.  Once again the problem remains on how we shift Maureen from the sofa.  Whichever option is decided upon: gentle persuasion has to be in our Best Interest rather than trickery!

You will gather that there is uncertainty about where Maureen will sleep tonight.  We often play Musical Beds here and last night we slept well together in the marital bedroom: taking the single bed out of the lounge may have worked!


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