Dementia: It’s Another ‘No-Brainer’

Image result for Kelsang Dorde Picture

There is little doubt that Maureen’s dementia is progressing and the demands on me are increasings.  It is possible there is also a dip in her condition at the moment due to infection: that should be clarified this afternoon at an appointment with her G P.  My priority this morning is to set up rolling respite so that I continue to have the energy to meet Maureen’s needs.  Home-based care is the only option to make sure Maureen is safe and well cared for: I don’t need phone calls telling me the police have found her or seeing her bruised and battered again!   I’m still waiting for details of the action that has been taken against the Care Homes that failed to keep Maureen safe during periods of respite care;.

What I have in mind is to establish a day off every week.  From next week I hope to build around a Wednesday night carer sit so I can have a 24-hour break from my caring role.  The Madhyamaka Buddhist Meditation Centre is little more than an hour’s drive away so my refuge for respite is a ‘no- brainer’ as Kelsang Dorde [pictured above] would say.

We have a busy week ahead with something happening on most days including my 71st birthday on Thursday.  I let an important one pass without any celebrations last year and more of the same is in order in a few days time.  What is the point of causing further distress to someone who no longer has any concept of time, person or place?  As my dear friend, Dorde would say: ‘it’s a no brainer’.

Maureen has been searching for the missing boy again this morning.  Yesterday. she was concerned that her granddaughter had nothing to play with so she put some toys beside her photograph.  She often waves to this little girl, now in her late teens, as she looks out on us from an occasional table in our lounge.

5 thoughts on “Dementia: It’s Another ‘No-Brainer’

  1. Yes, you do need to find a way to get a proper break on a regular basis. I found it was useless to have a few hours here and there when carers were in. Those hours were usually filled with tasks such as shopping, going to the bank. Even when I met a friend for coffee I was constantly watching the time so I wouldn’t be late back – not relaxing. I never tried meditation – it might have helped.
    I hope you have a happy birthday even if it goes un-celebrated.


  2. I am so thrilled that you are able to spend one night a week in such a tranquil place. Hopefully that respite will give you the energy you need for the next week.


    1. Wouldn’t it be great if I could get this all set up for Thursday: that would be a birthday present indeed. Unfortunately, my Key Worker is not in today so the pressure will be on in the next few days to get the sits in place before the Care Agencies complete their schedules for next week.


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