Dementia: ‘I Know What’s Wrong Now’

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As any reader of the Blog will know I often have misgivings about the work of professional staff who are doing their best to support us.  Shortly after 1 ‘o’ clock this morning when Maureen was trying to resolve where her clothes were, any doubts I a new  Care Coordinator receded when she said: ‘I know what’s wrong now; I’ve lost my short-term memory’.  I have been skirting around this issue for almost three years and thanks to the skilled work of our C C I can now talk openly with Maureen about how we deal with the damage caused by her stroke.  Just for starters, we have decided to put crosswords back on the menu tonight; alongside our normal routines of:

  • Singing with the man:
  • Catching up on the exploits of the Famous Five:

I realise we are very fortunate to be living in this neck of the woods.  The support to someone with dementia in North East Lincolnshire is probably as good as it gets.  However, from my perspective, there remains a missing link that I need to pursue.

I would find it helpful if someone kept a watchful eye on my role as Maureen’s Care Partner: someone to give me line management/ support and supervision.  I’m afraid old habits from my professional career die hard and that is something I need within this labour of love.   Continually being told ‘I’m’doing a great job’ doesn’t do it for me – my response is ‘how do you know?’.  I realise that this need creates further work for professional staff but how else can we know Maureen is getting the care she deserves?

In the absence of  line management/ support and supervision I have decided to post a timely  reminder to myself:

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2 thoughts on “Dementia: ‘I Know What’s Wrong Now’

  1. I have had many discussion with rob about his dementia – providing him with time to think of questions and concerns he may have. I’m really good ‘insightful’ moments I have even tried to explain that he sometimes mistakes me for someone else. That seems to go in – but moments later it seems it has. It. However I do feel that giving him an opportunity oth to talk about it – and often cry about it together too – is instrumental in keeping us anxiety and anger at bay. His overriding anxiety is still how long it will go on for, and how will he be. I have managed to reassure him that when his dementia is bad – he is ok in his world he just doesn’t know the world as I see it.

    Liked by 1 person

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