Dementia: You Never Can Tell


I was rather taken aback on Friday when I met our social worker and he told me that a Best Interest Meeting was still on the cards.  A few days later my feelings are ‘bring it on’: it’s time to wipe the slate clean and have a wide-ranging discussion about the options for Maureen’s care and accommodation.  However, I’m not convinced that the expense of a BIM is justified when there is appears to be consensus on the way forward: certainly  amongst family members.  In fact, I think it would be relatively simple to tie up a few loose ends and move forward on a fresh footing.

On Sunday morning I was pessimistic about the prospects of a  proposed surprise family visit.  When I heard that six additional bodies were going to be in the house I panicked. My caution was misplaced and a well-planned visit went exceptionally smoothly.  Even though she slept for a long time after the visit I’m sure this  enjoyable occasion will remain in Maureen’s memory for a long time.  She may mix up names and families, but very positive feelings will still be retained in her emotional memory.  Although she hasn’t mentioned the visit again since they waved us goodbye yesterday afternoon and headed north.

I am also rethinking about making for the door as soon as carers arrive.  Whenever I’m out of sight and Maureen is unsure where where I am she is frightened.   She is frequently worried that I’m going to leave her for good,  despite me providing  constant reassurance, she thinks I’m in the market for a younger model:  nothing I say seems to shift her from this nagging doubt about my loyalty.

My loyalty to Coventry City is being stretched to the limit.  It’s not because the Sky Blues are on a bad run: the club is in chaos and the sooner SISU the current owners  sell up the better!

I’m yet to decide what to do when Girl Monday arrives this morning.



About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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