Dementia: Finding Some Missing Links

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We were very fortunate yesterday to benefit find  three missing links in our chain of support.  Maureen’s presentation was stretching me to the limit in the morning and once again our Home Treatment Team came to my rescue.  Marie arrived less than an hour after my request for support and was just what the Care Partner ordered.  Within minutes of her arrival,  she gave Maureen the psychological support that she has been craving for quite some time.

My sister and her husband arrived as Marie was leaving.  I saw her out to her car, thanked her for her timely intervention and hopefully set up further visits.

Jill and Rob carried on Marie’s good work.  During the four hours that they were here, their thoughtful behaviour helped Maureen to enjoy a lovely afternoon.  She walked and talked arm in arm with Jill for over a mile following a lovely lunch brought all the way from Coventry.

I have encouraged Jill and Rob to leave us to it today.  Maureen will be tired after such an eventful Saturday and will probably rest for most of today.  However, yesterday fills me with optimism that we have stumbled across just what we need: ongoing support from Marie, and visitors who are dementia friendly, come in small numbers, and feed us into the bargain!

We both slept well last night; sharing the same bed for most of the time.  Whenever Maureen woke up distressed by her thoughts I was able to offer immediate comfort and we both slipped back into sleep.  As always, I couldn’t offer any meaningful solution to Maureen ‘wanting her mum’ but holding her hand and saying positive things about someone I had never met seemed to do the trick.  What a difference it would make to our lives if we could get such good rest every  night: that would be a find worth its weight in gold!


About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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7 Responses to Dementia: Finding Some Missing Links

  1. That’s so good to read 😊 x x


  2. Diane Brooks says:

    I am constantly fascinated to read about how carers in your position are supported. Here it is very different. Assessment is often carried out over the phone and is supposed to happen annually although the reality is that it is less than that. Suggestions are made re the support that can be offered. Some support is means tested. As we progressed along the journey I did point out a few times how much money carers saved our hospital boards and in order to do this we needed a lot of help especially if there was only one person doing all the caring. Here too we go on waiting lists to get some of the support. Only so much to go around I guess. I did offer to help them sort things out properly, some very poor, and expensive, practices in place which I offered to overhaul. They never took me up on my kind offer.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Remember Me says:

      We are obviously fortunate here with a Local Authority which tries to look after its carers. However, they have to ration and continually reassess what they can afford to give. I don’t like the sound of arrangements in your neck of the woods at all.


      • Diane Brooks says:

        I think part of the problem is that more and more people are being diagnosed so that they need to cut back on what they can offer. I know too it depends on the family circumstances. If I had been the same age as John I may have got more but they thought I could handle it, true but we burn out too

        Things are probably not as bad as I sometimes make them out but it is sometimes hard to find out exactly what services you are entitled to.


      • Remember Me says:

        It’s just the same here Di: it’s like a maze trying to find out what you are entitled to. Once you know what you might have there is still ‘Prescribed Disengagement’ (Swaffer) to overcome! I find THAT a massive hurdle in this Grand National of all time!


  3. anniegoose says:

    great that you had an awesome day.

    here’s hoping for many more.



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