Dementia: ‘Help Me: Please’

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As the Baby Alarm came alive at 4.30 am this morning I responded promptly to Maureen’s plea for help.  She had woken earlier at 3 am needing a drink and I had gone upstairs to read a novel: my latest solution to inducing further sleep.

It is disappointing that after two nights of good sleep we are back on familiar territory. Yesterday’s assessment by our social worker has triggered another night of disturbed sleep. Maureen found Gary’s assessment disturbing; worrying that they are going to put her in a Care Home again.

I sat in for the majority of the assessment.  My conclusion is that the process may serve the needs of social services but it inevitably causes distress for the subject.  In my opinion the assessment is relatively pointless: a snapshot infected by inevitable confabulation.

No wonder Maureen is scared this morning: feeling that an authority figure is conspiring to lock her way again !  It is disappointing that my priority to minimise Maureen’s distress is being undermined by a bureaucratic need to carry out meaningless assessments.



8 thoughts on “Dementia: ‘Help Me: Please’

  1. I hear you, and understand how distressing these assessment processes can be for both the person with dementia and their loved ones. And I think many are repetitive, where various agencies would be better served with a joint record system where we can all access documentation from our multi-agency colleagues and all have the same amount of information to plan the care required. I’m sorry this has caused you both such distress x x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The last time Mom was visited by a social worker while she was in her own home (I and a caregiver were with her; it was summer 2012), Mom shit her pants (literally) and had diarrhea for three days afterward. Poor soul. The way the “interview” was conducted made me ill as well.


      1. Susan – I’m going to make some suggestions about how things could be person-centred and supportive to us all. We have to try and stop processes that are wasting,time money, and causing distress. I’ll keep you posted on progress.


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