Dementia: On Target? (Week 3)

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I have decided to adopt a new Working Position as I strive to do a good job as Maureen’s Care Partner:  Accept What You Can’t Change and Try To Change What You Can’t Accept.

Yesterday morning was a classic as I tried to nudge Maureen in the direction of a shopping trip. As you will see from below she eventually made it abundantly clear that she didn’t want to go into Grimsby to look for suitable clothing or any of my other suggestions.

The upshot of Maureen’s reluctance to go shopping is that she will continue to wear the same pair of trousers throughout the day and night.  It also means that she will not be wearing her wedding ring.  As it was our wedding anniversary yesterday I took her ring out of the box where it had been safely stored and placed it on her finger.  However, without a keeper ring (one of our reasons for a shopping expedition) it is now back in the box for fear of it  going the same way as her engagement ring – missing.

The other thing I have given up on is spending any more time looking for immediate respite in local Care Homes.  My sobering experience on Thursday convinced me that Lindsey Hall Nursing  Home is well worth waiting for.  Therefore, I have to find ways of avoiding Carer Breakdown until Day Care becomes a reality. Fortunately Maureen’s sons are coming to my rescue with support so that I can visit my family in Coventry.  I’m also hoping to resume attending local Tai Chi and Meditation Classes in the coming week.

With my conscience eased with plans to see my mum, and my body and mind in a better state, I hope to sleep a little easier until our aspirations concerning Lindsey Hall become reality.

This morning has started in a familiar fashion with hiraeth dominating Maureen’s thinking.  I have to accept that there is little I can do about ‘wanting to go home’ apart from applying TLC and making her first cuppa of the day.


About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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