Dementia: In Whose Best Interest?

It didn’t surprise me yesterday when Maureen was found to lack capacity as far as her future care and welfare was concerned.  However after a troubled night and our early morning conversations I’m far from sure what lies ahead is in our Best Interests.

There is no doubt that professionals are trying to protect both of our interests: responding to the progression of dementia and a worn out Care Partner.  It may not be possible to do much about the former but the latter could have been prevented and even now could be alleviated.

It isn’t surprising that I face Carer Burnout when you consider how poorly I have been supported. The initial support from social services was so inadequate that a member of staff had to be taken off the job.  Our Care Agency is not fit for purpose and a replacement Agency at the weekend had fundamental shortcomings.   Occasional periods of respite may have been good for me but have always been a nightmare for Maureen.

Whatever happens next has to be in both of our Best Interests.  Our marriage vows remain firmly in place: it is until death do us part.  Why should the inadequacies of care in the community be allowed to separate us?  We are not going to be railroaded down a dead end: Maureen is not going to be warehoused and turned into a gibbering wreck!


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