Dementia: A Double Wammy

I’m in it now, as they say, up to my neck. Having the audacity to have a few days respite has given Maureen the opportunity to open up another front on my behaviour as a husband: ‘why did I desert her in her hour of need?’  This theme recurred several times during Saturday and has been followed by behaviour that has once again woken me up early this morning. .

None of this has been helped by the uncoordinated efforts of her sons which have misfired and added to Maureen’s confusion.   However, as I said yesterday ‘It’s A No Brainer’ I need to focus on my responses to Maureen’s presentation.  It is fortunate that I have been able to call upon support from the Home Treatment Team and we are expecting them mid-morning.

The risks of Carer Burnout are well documented and I can feel exhaustion coming on after two days back in the mix: supporting Mrs Dementia is her current mode is unsustainable.   I’m finding it really difficult to adjust to being her husband during the day and a dangerous man at night.  I had been warned that this would happen as dementia progressed because of her past experience of an abusive relationship.  

I’m hoping that some changes in our routine along with additional carer support might help me to ensure my own well-being and  be able to support Maureen to remain in her own home a while longer.



About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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4 Responses to Dementia: A Double Wammy

  1. AmazingSusan says:

    keep up the good work – you are doing a fabulous job 🙂


    • Remember Me says:

      Thanks Susan I’m so fortunate with the level and range of personalised support available to us here in North East Lincs. I’m sure that there isn’t enough money to go around but the model would be worth replicating. All I ever have to do is phone and personalised support will arrive.


      • AmazingSusan says:

        that is so unbelievably awesome. If that kind of support were available everywhere, people would be able to stay their homes much longer, and care partners wouldn’t die in the process of trying to care for someone they love.


  2. Remember Me says:

    When time permits I want to share what is on offer here probably through the Academy of Fabulous Stuff. However I need to prioritise clearing up some matters with our Care Agency and sorting out some misunderstandings within the family.

    Liked by 1 person

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