Yet another disturbed night has led me to realise it is time to back off on several fronts. I had a good chat with Sandra one of the Support Workers in the Admiral Nurses office yesterday and began to see that ‘jaw jaw is creating war war’: challenging Maureen about sleeping on the sofa only leads to distress for both of us It is time to accept that trying to persuade Maureen of the errors of her ways is naive: I have to accept her reality. Bob DeMarco from the Alzheimer’s Reading Room talks the need to take a step to the left and enter the world of the person who has dementia.
I followed Sandra’s last night and didn’t object to Maureen sleeping on the sofa. I heard her moving around at 1pm and found her worried about intruders. She looked a fearsome sight armed with a large plastic spoon and draped in a blanked: no wonder she saw the scoundrels off! I accepted my reprimand for going to bed and leaving her to keep us safe. After a while Maureen decided to go to bed and I eventually chanced my arm and lay alongside her for a pleasant half hour. Unfortunately my thinking-hat was switched on and I hope blogging might help me to clear my mind.
I’m going to cancel this morning’s carer sit and have a chat with the Admiral Nursing staff about reviewing future arrangements on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. I think it is possible that the trigger for Maureen’s current presentation is the additional carer sits fuelling her accusations that I’m arranging baby-sitters so can I go out and have a good time.
There is little doubt that Maureen rose the occasion during our day trip to Coventry last week. Another similar opportunity beckons this weekend when we could venture up North rather than receiving a visit from her younger son and his family. I think a change of scenery coupled with backing off by taking a ‘step to the left’ might help on the next stage of this journey.