Dementia: Whatever Next?

Maureen woke up at 1.30 am this morning and put the light on in the bedroom.  At first I thought she was looking for additional clothing because she was cold. Then she left the room and returned a few minutes later talking about her car.  She was of a mind to contact the police because it had been taken again without her permission.  Eventually, I joined her at the window to confirm that it was still on the drive.  She still thought there were people in it, and carried on venting her concerns.

The car issue continued for quite some time, until I manged to cajole Maureen back to bed. She is sleeping now, and may well have forgotten the incident when she wakes.  It’s fortunate that a meeting is scheduled with Mel, my Admiral Nurse, tomorrow.  I need to explore the best way forward on the following issues:

  • Issues relating to the car
  • The clothing shortage
  • Developing ‘me time’: having a life beyond being a Care Partner
  • Reviewing my approach to being a Care Partner
  • Appropriate courses or reading material
  • Helping Maureen to develop a purpose in life
  • Resolving difficulties with the Care Agency

Five hours later and Maureen is awake again, complaining that she is coldso  I adjusted the bedding to provide extra warmth.  The conversationturns to poetry, and classical music. We agree on a  departure from our normal evening routine tonight, and Maureen begins reciting Wordsworth.

I wonder how on earth she’s forgotten it’s almost a week since the celebration of Jimmy  Hill’s life.  I was thinking we could watch Bobby Gould,  ‘Gouldy’ as we called him at school, on YouTube tonight paying his tribute to the Great Man.  Poetry indeed, we should be belting out the Sky Blue Song.  How on earth could I expect a Forest supporter to understand  loyalty to Coventry City?

I can tell you what Maureen would say about all of this, ‘come on you Reds; you’ll never catch Des Walker’.


At 7.30 am I found Maureen standing in the bedroom crying; looking distressed and frightened.  She eventually tells me that she is worried that she hasn’t seen her mum, and wonders if she is dead.  I hold her tight for a while, and eventually ask her if she would like her first cup of tea of the day.  I feel impotent to offer anything else!   What an ongoing nightmare Maureen’s  dementia is becoming.


About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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2 Responses to Dementia: Whatever Next?

  1. ebjz says:

    It’s heartbreaking. I hope the day has improved.


    • Remember Me says:

      Thanks for your good wishes. We have had a beautiful walk in the sunshine this morning. Maureen is now sleeping off her lunch and has forgotten her distress earlier in the day. I hope we are able to sing our hearts out tonight as I revert to being a D J. Who knows I might have to become the Poet Laureat. One of the things that dementia has brought into our lives is to treasure the good times.

      Liked by 1 person

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