Dementia: Car Crash Monday


When I phoned our Heating Engineer yesterday morning he pointed out it was:  ‘Car Crash Monday’.  I realised I was lucky to catch Dave, as his phone never stops ringing with callers wanting the problems of the weekend resolved as soon as he switches his mobile on.  True to his word, Craig, one of Dave’s engineers was here by nine and began his investigations into the problems with our boiler.

Maureen stayed in bed as Craig had to turn the heating off to begin his investigations.  She was still in bed when Chloe, our carer arrived.   They were holed up in our bedroom for a while chatting away like mother and daughter.  As I typed in the next room I could hear then catching up on events over the weekend.  Lots of further interesting events followed during the day indicate that Maureen’s recovery from stroke is continuing.

Around noon Maureen advised Chloe that she could go as she wanted to ‘sort out the remainder of the housework herself’.  A short while afterwards she held court yet again on ‘carers coming into our house and disrupting our lives’.  I listened and made supportive noises about it being difficult to know the amount of help we needed.  Later in the day Maureen had been thinking about the support we needed and I found her thoughts very interesting, as my dad would say.

I had popped out for some shopping and been away for about an hour.  Maureen had decided to have a rest rather than accompany me on my shopping mission.  When I returned I fully expected to find her asleep but she was in the kitchen making a hot drink.  She told me that she had been thinking while I was out.  I couldn’t quite grasp the whole of her thoughts but it was something along the lines of we didn’t need to go anywhere else as the ‘ladies’ (as she often calls the carers) could stay with her here if I needed to go to work or visit family:  so we didn’t need to go anywhere else.

I think it is possible that Maureen is asserting that she doesn’t need to go into care.  Her reference to not needing to go anywhere else might well mean that she is o k where we are now.  The positive in all of this is that I can pop out for the odd hour and she is quite comfortable to be left to her own devices.  How I make sense of her packing to go home, in a big way, later in the evening is another matter.  Quite simply, I can’t at the moment and I will just return all the precious items to where they normally go.

By the way we didn’t make the opticians.  Maureen decided that choosing glasses was better left to another day.  My second post of the day will attempt to recount a fascinating exchange that too place at 2.30 am this morning.  I think my dad would describe that conversation as very, very interesting!

About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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